Self Awareness is A Curse From a Cruel God

AT RISE:

FABREGE and EGG.

FABREGE:

Twins should never be born to smart-alecks.

EGG:

Agreed.

BLACKOUT. END PLAY.

 

Short and Sweet

AT RISE:

A NARCISSISTIC OWL.

NARCISSISTIC OWL:

Meeeeeeeeeeeee!

BLACKOUT. END PLAY.

 

I May Still Have a Fever

AT RISE:

DANNY and THE MOON.

THE MOON:

I am magic.

DANNY:

No, you’re  a big ball of space dirt.

THE MOON:

You caught me, bro! But check out these tides!

DANNY:

By Jove, you’re right! I am going to build a rocketship for high-fives.

NARRATOR:

And that’s how NASA was founded.

BLACKOUT. END PLAY.

The Rabbit Hole

AT RISE:

BOLOGNA FACE, THE BOY WITH THE FACE MADE OF BOLOGNA. 

BOLOGNA FACE, THE BOY WITH THE FACE MADE OF BOLOGNA: 

See, that’s your problem, oh most mysterious of authors! You’re driving away any possibility of connection with your minuscule readership, but starting off this play with the most off-putting character name you can think of, then furthering the issue by having him directly address to the creator of the piece he’s in complaining about the very issues that plague your writing in the first place! I mean, why on earth would anybody even read far enough to get to this sentence? I could literally say anything here, and it would be read by approximately one person, who I can guarantee will be very disappointed by the ending. I mean, jeez, can’t you at least try to make this even a little accessible?

…

And magically, BOLOGNA FACE, THE BOY WITH THE FACE MADE OF BOLOGNA is made of BACON. 

BOLOGNA FACE, THE BOY WITH THE FACE MADE OF BOLOGNA, WHO IS NOW MADE OF BACON:

…I give up.

BLACKOUT. END PLAY.

Funny Words

AT RISE:

WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS.

PORCUPINE!

BLACKOUT. END PLAY